Stuart’s story

Stuart, a participant in our Creative Minds “Exploring Printmaking” programme, describes his journey towards creativity and the positive impact on his mental health.

“I was first diagnosed with depression in 2010 and immediately embarked on a mission to rid myself of the condition. I threw myself into research and the fight against depression. I struggled for many years to try to find a “silver bullet”, a single cure. That struggle was so wearing and eventually I realised there is no “silver bullet”. I switched from fight mode to acceptance. As part of this I’ve tried to focus on things I know are good for me and my wellbeing.

None of these things will come as much of a surprise to anyone who’s experienced depression and researched what may be good for them: counselling, medication, diet & exercise. They’ve all helped and form a very strong foundation for my wellbeing. There is one other element which has proved so helpful to me – creativity.

My research had highlighted the value of creativity but there was a problem. Over the years I’ve bought so many notebooks, journals and sketch pads, but simply been unable to put pen to paper.

The idea of me being creative in any form always seemed frivolous. It was something other people did, creative people, certainly not me. For years I had a very vocal inner critic whose words were so potent, so debilitating:

“Who do you think you are? You’re no artist …”

So, with that in mind, I’m still not entirely sure why I signed up for a Creative Minds programme. Printmaking appealed to me, but the course came at a particularly difficult time for me and I had no idea what to expect. I was a little apprehensive as I didn’t know whether this was a creative group or was it therapy?

The first session came as a bit of a shock. My first foray into printmaking was to create a self-portrait by scratching into a polystyrene tile. I was confronted with a subject I’m not too keen on and a medium that is pretty unforgiving.

Something happened. There was no great epiphany, no thunder and lightning, but I started to create a self-portrait.

I was in a room full of people all doing the same thing – all probably facing down their own critics. For the first time I felt able to be creative – just for creativity’s sake. Just for me.

As the course progressed, I grew to know the people around me. Sometimes the work took a back seat and we just took the time to chat over a cuppa. But there was always an atmosphere of support. There was never any judgment of anyone’s efforts.

My inner critic fell strangely silent.

With the guidance of Nell, a wonderful teacher (founder of Arty Farty Retreat, Southborough), we learnt different printmaking techniques. Most importantly we were introduced to the idea of the “happy accident”. With some processes you can’t be entirely sure exactly what the end result will be. An unexpected ink blot is neither “wrong” nor “bad” – it’s just part of the process. For someone crippled by perfectionism, this came as a revelation.

Encouraged by my time on the course I started creating some work of my own. I found myself not just creating images but actually showing them to others.

My inner critic stayed silent.

It’s still early days on my creative journey, but I’ve designed and sold a few cards and t-shirts. I’m continuing to work on new images and really enjoying the process.

I’m not looking to build a business empire – I just enjoy creating images and putting them out there. If people like them, that’s great and if not, that’s OK too.

So – if like me you’ve struggled with the idea of being creative, I can only suggest you explore the possibility of joining a Creative Minds programme. There’s a range of activities and who knows? You may surprise yourself as you embark on your own creative journey …”

To follow Stuart’s continuing journey towards creativity see his website or follow him on Instagram: theflotsampress